It Started with a Chicken

A (Big) Bard's Story

So now that I’m on an adventure, I figured I should keep a journal of some sort to track my progress and reflect upon happenings and such.

Also, if I fall, anyone finding this journal will know my story.

The name’s Bard. From Bard’s Gate. Yes, you heard that right. I can’t tell if my parents are clueless or hiding a wicked sense of humor, but that’s what they named me. Can’t change it now. Most people just call me Big Bard, on account of my muscular stature.

And before anyone asks: No. I’m not a bard. I mean, I can sing (off tune) a bit, I can dance a little, and I can make people laugh, but anyone who stays in Bard’s Gate long enough can pick up a couple tricks too.

So, a couple weeks ago, I figure I’ve had enough of living in Bard’s Gate. I wanna go out in the world, and do stuff. Anything. So I pack my stuff together, gather up all my supplies, and just get outta town. Well, I didn’t get far before I ran into a pack of Gnolls. I knew they were common round these parts, I just didn’t realize how common. I barely managed to get out of there alive. All I had left was my shield, warhammer, chainmail, and backpack. Not a single coin left to my name.

Well, I couldn’t go back to my parents. They were always so disappointed with me. Always harping about my life choices: “Why don’t you drop that war hammer and pick up a lyre like a real Bard?” or “Why don’t you get rid of those silly dreams of being a fighter and enroll yourself into a prestigious Bard’s school?” or “What the hell are you thinking, practicing trying to be good in a fight? Your role should be on the sidelines and out of the way, pretending your ineffective performances are actually making any sort impact on the battle and convincing yourself that you really are an integral part of the team! There’s nothing wrong with being the fifth wheel of a four-member party! I’m sure it was just an accident that my name was left out of the hall of heroes! The King didn’t forget to reward my deeds, he just couldn’t think of a reward big enough! Also I’m sure he’s busy with his Kingly duties! I’m sure he’ll send the letter awarding me with a fiefdom any day now!” and so on. As you can imagine, that got old quick.

So I got myself some work bussing tables at the local inn, in exchange for food, drink, an’ a place to sleep. I was working the tables when I see what looks like the adventuring type of group. You know, the type of people that look like they have no business being around each other, an’ don’t much care for each other, but still end up traveling together and saving the world and stuff. From the looks of it, the group consists of a priest, a ranger, a mage, and a sneaky looking thief girl.

I went up to the group and explained my predicament with the gnolls and me losing all my stuff. Well, as I’m done explaining, the sneaky looking girl just starts laughing in my face about my predicament. And then she hands me 100 gold coins and tells me to get myself back on my feet.
….I’m not quite sure how to take that.

Regardless I’m grateful for the help, and ask if there’s anything I can do to repay them. They tell me they’re looking for a frontline fighter. Apparently they were traveling with a couple paladin brothers, but both were killed, saving the rest of the party from certain death at the hands of orcs and gnolls. They say they’re currently trying to stop some necromancer named “Rainbow Dancer” and some priest of Orcus from destroying the world. Typical Adventure stuff.

The priest is a priest of the god Bowbee. I’m not quite sure what Bowbee is the god of, but it seems to involve wresting, getting drunk, and breaking stuff. Well anyway, the priest’s name is Cath, the ranger’s name is Solstice, the mage is named Zee, and the girl, named Slanesh, says she’s an assassin working for the church of Freya. I didn’t know that druids often hired assassins, but I decided not to press the matter.

So apparently, the group needs to take a rod to these temples in a particular order to fix the staff and restore balance, or something like that. I was so excited to be a part of a real adventuring party that I forgot why we were adventuring in the first place. Well, I’m sure it’ll sort itself out eventually.

After a night of rest, we set out on our way. But first, Cath says he wants to go to his temple of Bowbee. On our way there, we run into a rather snooty, stuck-up captain of the lyre guard who was acting a bit suspicious, in my opinion. When asked what he was doing, he acted all dodgy. Though he did tell us that if we brought in gnoll scalps, we could get some coin for them.

After going to the temple and receiving Bowbee’s blessing, we come across a bridge that connects the path we were on to the path we need to get onto. Well, there’s this big scary looking knight wearing full plate and wielding a wicked looking bastard sword. Zee mentions that he thinks the stuff’s enchanted. When we start to cross the bridge, the knight starts looking like he’s going to attack us. But Zee whispers off a spell, and charms the knight into not attacking us. The knight says he was cursed by some necromancer to guard the bridge an’ kill anyone trying to cross it. We think he might be talking about that Rainbow Dancer guy. I don’t know why he’d be cursed to guard this bridge, of all bridges. It all connects at Bard’s gate. If we just go back to Bard’s gate, and head out on a different road, we’ll end up on the other side of the bridge. His being cursed to guard the bridge is really just a minor inconvenience for travelers on this road. We tell him we’ll look into fixing his curse, and do what I just noted. The knight guy looks kinda peeved as we camp on the other side of the bridge.

Apparently we were attacked by gnolls as I slept. It can’t have been that serious, as they were all killed by the time I woke up. Apparently the black knight killed off 4 gnolls in one swing as they tried to cross the bridge. I’m glad we didn’t try to take him on ourselves.



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